^Princess's World^

{February 16, 2011}   Memories…

Within the whitely faded picture,
Atop the bookshelf of memory,
We were just faintly exchanging helloes
Comeback, but to the end I still couldn’t say it
And as the time flies by
The memory fades away

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{November 20, 2009}   This Love…


Title: This Love…

Pairing: -/-

Genre: Angst

Summary: Love is unexpectedly grown on me. But on a long friendship relation? I guess this is my big mistake. Sorry…


Winter had come… Do you still don’t realize it? This feeling toward you. Are you really don`t know it? Forgive me for doing so. But I can’t help it. Can you understand it? It’s okay if you not feel the same. But at least, I want you to know this… We can still remain friends right?


I tried. I tried to stop thinking about that way toward you. But how? It never worked. It just kills me all the time. Should I kill myself? I even not sure my memories on my corpse will blend away that easily. It just… hard.


Your eyes, your hair, your lips, your scent, your smile, your embrace… I even can’t mention everything that I like about you. Please, forgive me. Kill me if it needed. Bury me on the deepest ground if my corpse still showed a sign that I like you, still hoping you. Just throw me away, please.


This love is wrong. I knew it. I shouldn’t tell you from the first time and make you worry me too much. Blame me. I’m the only one who made this thing complicated. We were friend. Best friend. But I broke it. I dirtied it. I shouldn’t do this. This is my fault. I broke our promise to remain best friend forever. But who knew this will happen?


I knew you won’t kill me anyway. You’re a good person. And… I like it too. Look, I’m crazy enough for a normal person. I even still mumbling your name each my dreams. Okay, I will stop now. You fell nauseated right? Oh, you angry to me? No? Then what? Hey! Don’t run! Wait me…!


Calm down. I know this will happen. It’s just about time. I will go. Once again, I’m sorry to loving you all the time. I will take flight to Europe. It’s far enough right? Goodbye. I will take my time now. Thank you for keep our friendship relation unbreakable. Don’t cry. I will back once this feeling completely gone. I promise. Now, let me go. Please, don’t hold me. Goodbye, my love. Eh, I mean… my buddy.


Time passed really fast and I never realized it. Winter had come again. It’s been… what? A year? So fast… I was staring to the sky from my balcony’s apartment. Aish… I remembered you again. Why won’t these memories gone? This feeling gone. I missed you so much already. We used to staring the star together in front of your house together. Wishing for a shooting star appears before us. I really really miss you…


Winter will be over a few days again. I am walking along the way here. The place is similar with the way that we used to walk everyday to school. Even the temperature is very cold. I felt warm. You know why? Because I walked beside you. You always knew how to make me forget about how cold the winter is. After all, I don’t like winter because it’s very cold to play outside. But you made me feel other way. The way how you really love winter than spring. The way you throw a snowball to me happily. And the way you always talk about how beautiful the winter is. Now, winter is the most lovable thing for me. That’s why I never forget you.


I felt not good about this. I feel my heart hurt as long as I walked. This pain is strange. What happened? I ignored it and keep walking into my neglected house. My eyes staring to the ground as I walk. I heard something. Someone… called me? But who? I never introduce myself to anyone here. I turned around and see the person.


What? I can’t move. My eyes widen as I stuck there like statue. No, you can’t go here. It will make my feeling toward you harder to be fading away. My heart was beating faster. How supposed I act? Sad? Or happy? I love you. But you don’t feel the same. I miss you, really. But I scared my feeling grow more toward you. You… smile for me? Hey, don’t run. You will fall. Why? What’s with your face? Am I that scary? Ouch! What the…


No. Someone stabbed me from behind. Agh… it’s hurt. Bastard. You steal my wallet. Why you do this? Hey… don’t go! Answer me…


I fell. It’s hurt. I know. Hey, what’s up my buddy? You come here for me? Hey… Why you crying? I’m okay. Just a little… hurt. Oh, my heart beating slower. Am I going to die?


I’m sleepy. Very sleepy. I will go. I knew this won’t be a long lasted forever friend. I’m sorry. I still love you. I can’t forget you. This will be the last. I promise. I won’t make you angry anymore. We are still friend right? Right? Don’t cry again. Your beautiful face will turn ugly if you cry you know. Yeah, I know. I will miss you too. I will never forget you. Keep smile, okay? I love you… so much.

et cetera